Let It Go, Let It Flow…
Do you need to plan your day to the most specific detail?
Do you feel stressed if things don’t go exactly as you expected?
Does everything need to be just the way you want it be?
Do you try to influence how others feel or act to achieve a desired outcome?
Many of us are living life like this. Trying to control every aspect of our lives, so we try very hard to hold on to expectations in our goals, work, relationships, daily routines to the point where we potentially damage them because we hold on so tightly to anticipated outcomes.
You can achieve freedom by letting go of the need to control.
Imagine a time where you tried to force an outcome. How did it feel?
Now, imagine a time where you allowed things to flow smoothly, no expectations, stayed in the moment and let things unfold? How did you feel?
The responses are unique to everyone, but I want you to notice how you felt.
In my own experience, in times I tried to “force” outcomes and results, I was often anxious and stressed, and I would think about it constantly. I was anxious because I was so focused on achieving a specific future outcome, I always forgot to be in the present moment.
In times where I stopped trying to force results, did not get caught up in future outcomes, I found I was relaxed, less worried and felt a sense of trust that if it was in my highest good, it would all work out. I was acting on my goals and inspirations knowing it was going to lead me somewhere positive. Letting go of the outcome allowed me to stay present and allow my dreams to unfold. Often times what resulted was far better than what I could have imagined.
I started reflecting on this.
Why do we do this? Why do we try so hard to control things? I traced it back to a few things
What will happen if I don’t control the outcome? This is rooted in fear and scarcity. There is a lack of trust that the best outcome for us will happen.
We get tied to the outcome. We make the assumption that we know what outcome is best. Maybe that’s not always the case? When we let go of the need to control, and trust that no matter what circumstances are presented to us we will be ok, we create an energy that is open to infinite possibilities and not tied to the perceived ‘right’ path. Maybe there is something even better?
When we feel like we must control, we depend on certainty and we can predict what will happen next. This can give us a false sense of security. Life itself is unknown, no one really knows what’s going to happen in the future.
What does it mean to let go?
To no longer force outcomes
Acknowledge what you truly need at any given moment
To trust that your efforts will lead you to where you need to go
To stop fighting with the universe and be in harmony
Stop resisting the natural flow of things
Embrace change
Have faith that everything will be ok
Have complete acceptance of what is.
Now to let go does not mean that we take no action. We have to take action. That’s how we get things moving and start manifesting what we want, but we can take this action from the energy of trust and faith by letting go of trying to force a specific outcome. You may even notice that surrendering feels better and result in better outcomes because you are focused on the journey and being in the moment.
How do we get there?
I feel most people struggle with letting go and surrendering, I know I still do. It’s a journey unique to everyone, so always be kind to yourself on your own path.
Why do you want to control?
This is like everything a journey to self awareness. Why do I desire to control outcomes? Is it fear? Fear of judgement? Fear of uncertainty? Fear of change? Fear of failure?
Whatever your reason is, address those underlying feelings by asking yourself “What is there to lose by letting go?”
Start letting go of small things
Start with small things. Try not to control or lead every conversation, sit back and listen. If you encounter a challenge in your day, reframe your thoughts and consider alternative paths.
Create space in your day & schedule
Over planning is a manifestation of control. The day needs to be planned and be executed according to the schedule in place. Sound familiar?
Like many others I liked to plan my day to the point where each hour is accounted for. To be honest, I almost always never adhered to the schedule because, other things got in the way. This caused me stress and anxiety, and in time I learned to loosened the reigns. I allowed room in my schedule for “flexibility” for a last-minute task or self-care and reflection or fun and spontaneity or even unexpected challenges. Understanding that everything was not a priority helped me relax my schedule so that I was open to unexpected things, but feeling positive because I was accomplishing goals.
Let go and manage your expectations
Expectations are just beliefs of a specific future outcome.
The more expectations you have, the more control you feel you will require to keep those expectations met.
Expectations are natural to have, but also acknowledge that there is a risk that those expectations may not be met, and you are able to navigate through them if that does happen. Perhaps you want to consider broadening the expectation itself.
I am willing and committed to shift my behaviours
Change starts with us.
It takes us being honest with ourselves and reflecting on our own behaviours. Learn what works for you, understand how it feels for you and that will allow you to learn to let go of the need to force an outcome.
Embrace life
Everything happens for a reason: breakups, lost employment, people leaving your life, goals redirected or priorities shifting. We all experience this, it the beauty of being human. We don’t often know at the moment why things happen, but as you experience life, you learn things about yourself that can eventually make you stronger and change your perspective. We just need to embrace and surrender to that process. So instead of trying to control your experiences and outcomes, embrace them, be in your emotions, let them pass through you, and be in your heart. It is clear that life is a gift and tomorrow is not promised, so let loose on some of those reigns, and be open to all the beautiful possibilities that exist.
Let go, and allow your life to flow.